Since I began keeping an emotional journal before bed, it has completely retrained my mind and spirit. It has led to a transformation of consciousness in ways that, before, was simply not possible.
Celibacy (or “no fap” retention) was always difficult. Back when I did it, for months on end, I would have all sorts of frantic compulsions and other neurotic side effects.
Energy spikes. Aggression. Insomnia. Restlessness. A compulsive need to act out on sexual impulses. You name it.
The Root Cause of Sexual Compulsion (And Addiction)
Blocked, trapped, and unprocessed emotions of the second chakra (Swadhisthana – the sacral center below the belly button).
Compulsive habits are an attempt to run away from difficult emotions.
It’s the frantic attempt to forcibly change the present moment and fulfill an unmet need. This core need is screaming, but we ignore it: alcoholism, gambling, eating, workaholism, sex, and more.
We drown it out, shut down our emotional receptivity, and trudge on through life.
Ask yourself: What am I empty of? What am I not feeling or refusing to feel? What am I running from?
How Emotional Journaling Transformed My Energy
Journaling was life changing.
It added a deeper dimension of meaning and fulfillment in life. It was the missing piece to tie my life together.
Journaling was how I faced my unprocessed emotional trauma. And by doing so, I had eliminated 80% of my sexual compulsions, obsessions, and cravings.
I had, in fact, become my own therapist.
It worked.
I kept a 30 day journal to log the effects of my emotional awareness meditation practice.
For a few minutes each night, before bed, I would observe and feel emotional states, then describe them in a journal.
Not only did this transform my energy and clear my mind/psyche, it helped me connect to my true authentic self.
How I Committed to Deep Emotional Processing Through Journaling
I would sit upright in bed and abide in whatever emotion would arise – no matter how agonizing or painful!
I would accept it with my full conscious awareness. It doesn’t need to change. I don’t need to feel better through sex or masturbation – or excessive eating, for that matter!
The feeling can just be there. Let it. It won’t kill me. The ego feels threatened, but this is another lie. Emotions do not, and cannot, physically kill people, after all.
I did not run from my overwhelmingly powerful emotion. I allowed it to wash over me and make itself heard throughout various places on my body. I would immediately note these sensations and body parts in the journal.
This is part of body omen reading. Body parts contain psychological meanings. The eyes are one’s vision for the future (ruled by the Sun).
Certain areas of the body pertain to zodiac signs and planets.
The arms and hands, for example, are represented by Gemini.
The skin and surface coverings are governed by Mercury.
For me, abiding in one particular emotion (powerlessness) felt like hot pins and needles in my arms and shoulders. I then felt a gargantuan weight was on my arms. I could not lift them even if I tried. Although this was purely a mental creation, it seemed completely real. Perhaps this is a form of old magick that the mind cannot logically describe?
Nevertheless, I would meticulously note all of these sensations in a hand-written journal. Afterwards, I would read and reflect upon it, seeking to piece together the deeper meanings and messages from my subconscious mind.
In short, I got into the habit of letting these powerful emotions consume me, befriending them, and allowing them to completely wash over me. This practice strengthened my nervous system.
I imagine this as the internal warrior path. The only way to defeat a beast with invincible armored scales is to let it swallow you, and cut your way out from the inside. This is actually the ancient story of Indra versus the water serpent. Indra kills the serpent and releases the rejuvenating waters back to Earth, reversing a global drought.
It’s a mythological tale that pertains to the nakshatras (constellations) found in the sign of Scorpio, a sexual and deeply emotional sign, in Vedic astrological thought.
The urge to reproduce is powerful and ancient. To fight it directly is like trying to beat an invincible serpent. You won’t win.
It is difficult, and sometimes entirely impossible, to control the sexual urge. The craving for sexual intimacy is intrinsically tied to one’s emotional body. It is a momentary wave of urgency, but it passes.
Only by healing the emotional body, will the rest will follow suit.
Emotional Journaling is the Ultimate Hack
If you’re looking for a way to transmute the sexual energy into wisdom, compassion, and creative fuel, I firmly believe keeping an emotional journal is the key to unlocking a new life. When a sexual thought comes or a compulsive sexual urge arises in consciousness, ask yourself what emotion you’re running away from. It works.
